are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
