we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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