One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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