okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
