Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
