how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
