I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
