In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
where are you?
Hypothermia
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
