i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize