and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
