If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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