"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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