You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
