Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
