i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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