Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just gift wrapped bread.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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