dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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