She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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