just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
