White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
All I want is dick and wine.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize