I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
