He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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