She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
