If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i permit you to call me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
