well I can't set my house on fire every night
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
