Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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