My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
