love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize