This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
