i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
