It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
worst night to have a conscience
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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