either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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