took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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