To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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