ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
