We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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