Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
