i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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