well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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