We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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