How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
