I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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