pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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