Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
