So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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