I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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