Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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