I didn't shave. On purpose
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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