I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
