"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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