I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
