You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
