Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
