She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
