If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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