so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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