From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize