didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
