with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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