i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
